Sun, Mar 3, 2013

Sun, Mar 3, 2013

Supervised visitation is a two-edged sword. On one hand, as the protective non-disordered parent, we are thankful that the visits are supervised and that our children will return with all their fingers, toes, arms and eyes. We are relieved they will return at all. On the other hand, so many monitors drop the ball. I even warn them about the comments said to the children like
“your mom is the one lying the judge, not me.”
“The battle between your mom and I is almost over and I’m going to win.”
“I would see you more, but your mother is making it difficult.”
“I would see you more, but your mother is making me pay to see you.”
(Forcing our son to read the Ten Commandments at age 7, when they got to adultery and coveting thy neighbors wife:) “Do you understand that’s what you mother is doing with XXX?”
ALL SAID WHILE BEING SUPERVISED.
Be careful who your monitor is. Ask to see an example of their reports before you choose them. Find out if they are experienced with personality disordered individuals. My monitor has a background in psychology and her reports are so generic (basically what time everyone showed up) that they could be reflected as good on the father.
Be very cautious and thorough. Do your research and make THEM sign agreeing to adhere to the rules of the state (which they will argue they do because they are certified). They will make you agree to their rules. Make them agree to yours.